Tidbit of Thought & Thanks

Well, I'm back from Nashville and I feel caught between two worlds. Nashville seemed like home, almost as though I had been there for forever, but then there are moments I feel as though FASA never even happened. Perhaps I should give myself a few more days to re-enter into my normal life...
How can I describe my time of wonder and learning at the Fine Arts Summer Academy? I can't do FASA justice with my words. I've come away with so many wonderful things. My time in Music City was unforgettable. I met so many amazing people, learned so very much, and grew in unexpected ways. I also discerned some things that weren't and are still not easy to deal with. Things that are breaking my little heart, though I still live in the joy of the Lord because of the knowledge and reassurance I have of being in accordance with God and His plan. Brothers and Sisters, please pray for me that I will lean on the Lord to give me strength and courage to do what I must.
On a lighter note, I had a blast in Nashville. I got to perform in the Grand Ole Opry with a plethora of insanely talented Christian musicians. Though I have no true desire to be rich and famous and recognized (though it is fun to joke about :) I do wonder how many of these wonderful kids will soon be on their way to worldly stardom. I can only pray for them that they will continue to give the glory to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus.
One idea that is really going to continually help and form me in my pursuit of excellence in music, is the belief of using music to minister to the audience. This may sound extremely juvenile, but I thought it was a profound idea. For the past two years, I've used music as a way to get closer to God, for my own purpose of drawing myself towards Him. This is most certainly not bad, it is beautiful, but I believe God is calling me to take my music a step further. From now on when I get on stage or when I sing, I will be giving the world a glimpse of His glory and love. My voice and music should be an act of service to the audience, done out of love for God and out of a desire to show His love to His children. One of my voice teachers at camp said that when I go out to perform, I need to see myself as someone wrapping a towel around my waist so as to wash the feet of my audience. That stunned me. To put it quite bluntly, I've often been using my voice to further my kingdom, not His. The same voice teacher told me, in all love and gentleness, that my performance was NOT about me. At a different time, another voice teacher sat down next to me pouring encouragement and conviction into me. "Elizabeth, see these opportunities as Jesus coming to your door with a dozen of roses. Don't shove the flowers into a closet! Put them in a vase in the middle of the room!" Dear Michelle and Miss Renita: thank you for taking the time to mentor me and speak truth into my life. Those few minutes you took to set me straight made FASA lifechanging for me. They were truly powerful and I will never forget the love you showed me.
Isn't it interesting how spending ten minutes with a person can totally change his or her life? I only hope that I was able to, through the Lord's prompting, encourage and challenge the other students at FASA in the same way that the mentors challenged and encouraged me.

Soli Deo Gloria!

The Genius of Confession

 

The Catholic Church can often look like a huge ball of confusion to the outsider and even to some of her followers, but when observed at a level even just below the surface, true genius can be found not only amidst the teachings, but the teachings themselves. Confession is one of these practices that is not only seeped with scripture, but also practical and instrumental in forming healthy spiritual lives.

I've been curiously approached by many of my dear friends and not so dear friends about my Catholic ideologies, confession being one of the more consistent ones. I have to say that the past few years have been less focused on my Catholic beliefs and theology and more on getting to know exactly who the beliefs were about and how they drew me closer to my Lord and Lover. So I haven't been asking why I believe what I do, but rather how these practices can help my faith reach its fullest potential. I have realized that I need to find a healthy balance of the two; I need to be able to explain clearly and believe wholeheartedly these teachings. So I've decided to blog today about Confession. 

For those who don't know, Confession is a sacrament in the Catholic church. There are seven sacraments in the Catholic church and are basically instruments of grace used to ever increase holiness and love for God. They are pretty much the Big Seven of the Catholic world. In regards to Confession, many people have issues with it. First off, many people do not consider it biblical. While this is untrue and Confession is extremely rooted in scripture, I must also add that Catholics find authority in both scripture and oral tradition as instructed in 2 Thessalonians 2:15. 

Let's start with the most apparent Bible passage that led to confession. It says in John 20:21-23, 

"So Jesus said to them again, 'Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.' And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.'" (New King James)

"Again Jesus said, 'Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.' And with that he breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.'" (New International Version)

Let's start with the first part of the verses. According to 1 Timothy 1:15, Jesus was sent to earth to redeem and set the sinners free (or to "save" them). As the Father sent Jesus to grant forgiveness, so He commissioned His apostles to. He also breaths on them, passing on the Holy Spirit to them. Then He tells them what they forgive will be forgiven and vice versa.

The next passage, Matthew 16:19, is very similar. Peter has just correctly identified Jesus as the Messiah who will save the people, and Jesus tells him that His church will be built upon Peter. It says,

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

God gave His apostles the authority to tell people that their sins were forgiven. Of course, only God can forgive people's sins, but He is saying that when they forgive the sin, God recognizes it and forgives it. Because of the apostolic succession in the Catholic Church that is still valid today, Catholic priests have been ordained and commissioned to continue this instruction from Christ. Jesus was explicit about Confession. Our mission as Christians is the preach the Good News to all nations and He left us tools to do that. On a less theological note, I have described and found Confession to be like built in counseling for the Church. Jesus isn't stupid and He knows how humans work. 

Jesus knows sin and he knows satan. Sin can rot a person from the inside out especially when kept secret. The humiliation of confessing that I am a sinner even outside of a confessional doesn't sound particularly enjoyable, and the thought of confessing to a "holy" priest...yikes!

Actually it's better than telling your friends or just repenting in the comfort of one's mind or room. Stay with me here :) I know that when I let my friends know that I did something wrong, their response is never how I expect. They either think its hilarious and don't take the sin seriously, or they don't know how to respond and end up making me feel as though I have no hope in being forgiven by God. Watering down the seriousness of sin is a dangerous place to venture towards, but so is shame and condemnation. The Bible says in Romans that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! But the Bible also says that there is grave and deadly sin in 1 John (5:16-17). This is where I will shoot down another misconception about Confession. Catholics are encouraged to confess their sins to the Lord, whether through Confession or not. It isn't mandatory. But  Catholics are required to, if having committed a deadly/mortal/grave sin, confess it to a priest. This is because these types of sin are viral and sneaky. These sins can rot people with shame and embarrassment, haunting them the rest of their lives. Christ does not desire that for His beautiful and beloved children! He offers to His children a priest who will listen to their disgusting and reviling sin and,  instead of walking away with contempt,  shows them the kindness and mercy of God, and reciprocates the forgiveness of a loving savior. I've heard many a priest say that they had already heard the worst sins imaginable after being a priest for a just a week, so don't think your sin is special :)

The beautiful thing about Confession is that priests are trained in this area so as to be as effective as possible. I'm not saying priests are perfect, one can just look at the news headlines to get a sickening idea of how hard satan hits them. I am saying that a good confession is good for the soul. James petitions believers to "confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." Confessing is extremely scriptural! 

If Jesus thought it was important enough to teach His apostles, and if the writers of the New Testament fit it in there, I figure it is important for me to believe in. I must add that Confession really is amazing. I have felt the Holy Spirit work on my heart heavily in the confessional. I have cried and laughed in the confessional, but every time the priest says I am forgiven in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the feeling of the release of sin and burdens on my heart is indescribable. Is it hard to go in and admit before God and man that I have messed up and I can't get back on track with my own strength? Yes. It is worth the giving up of self? Yes! 

My Lord

"Christ is the breathing forth of the heart, life and spirit of God into all the dead race of Adam.

He is the seeker, the finder, the restorer of all that, from Cain to the end of time, was lost and dead to the life of God.

He is the love that prays for all its murderers; the love that willingly suffers and dies among thieves, that thieves may have a life with him in Paradise; the love that visits publicans, harlots and sinners, and wants and seeks to forgive where most is to be forgiven."

William Law

Change

So often I talk about being a world changer. And I talk about letting God change our hearts. But one aspect I try to avoid whenever possible is a different kind of change. I'm all for changes of heart, perspective, and the like, but when it comes to things like moving or changing schools or death or whatever, I'm incredibly hesitant. There are a few things that have been changing in my life and I've been having to face challenges and thoughts I've dreaded for years.
The hard truth is: my whole life is about to change.
There it is. This is the type of change that makes me anxious, freaked out, and desperate for stability. One might ask: what exactly is she dreading? Well, a lot of things. Some of them have already happened. Others I'm waiting for.
My older sister got married two weekends ago. I was dreading that. Don't get me wrong, I was and am really happy for her and her new husband. I miss her terribly though. And it isn't like I can just go and tell her that too. I mean, when I got home late after the wedding, I went and looked at the empty spaces in our house that she left. The dresser stands bare in her naked room. The place where her toothbrush was is vacant. I feel as though the places in our house that she left bare are what our hearts look like. I'm dreadfully lonely now.
I'm graduating from highschool and college. I don't even want to talk about this one. In three days I will walk down an aisle and receive my diploma. The last two years of my life have been dedicated to completing my degree and all of a sudden it's over. And now I have a piece of paper. It hardly seems like an accomplishment. I can't seem to accept that I worked hard and that I did something that is worth celebrating. It will be weird walking on Friday. I actually had one of my dear professors die a few months ago, but I remember the last time I talked to him.
He was excited that I was going to graduate and he told me with a grin, "When they say your name, I'll be cheering for you." The reason why I loved him so much is because he actually taught me things about myself and he impacted my life, not just my brain. He challenged us students to figure out what music was to us. I was touched when he challenged the class to be ourselves as musicians, not just carbon copies of the musicians we admired. Now he's dead. It's a weird feeling that I can't describe. I miss you Rob. I wish you could have known I was going to Nashville. I wish I could tell you all the things I'm planning on doing. You would have been so excited and proud of me.
I can't believe I'm going to Nashville. Let me say it again. I'm going to Nashville. It's really starting to hit me. And I'm slowly realizing that I can't just sing. I can really sing. I guess I used to think that being an amazing singer required me to sing every note perfectly, always be warmed up, to sing with gripping emotion, and to do all of the above effortlessly. I'm starting to realize that singing isn't effortless and that it takes work. I feel extremely juvenile saying that, but I just realized it! I am SO scared to go to FASA. I am shaking in my boots. I feel totally unequipped and unexperienced. These people have studied at the most prestigious schools in the country and are professionals. Lord help me. I don't know how to manage this myself.
And I'm going off to Reach. Right now I feel like the weakest I've been in a Catholic sense, but so close to Jesus. God has asked me to be Catholic and to go to Reach, so I will obey, but I feel without the strength I need. I used to be so excited about both, but not much makes sense rigth now. I am searching and praying and doing "everything right", but it still doesn't feel right. I could use your prayers right now. I was told before I applied for Reach that I would experience the darkest nights and most spiritual attacks ever because of the good that will come from Reach. Lord, I trust you. I am being stripped of all that I know- my church, family, friends, room, car, virtually everything except for my two weeks of clothes, my bible, and my Lover. Thank you God that I have you to cling to. That definitely puts me in perspective. All of a sudden, leaving doesn't sound so bad. With my fingers laced in yours, Lord, this actually kind of sounds exciting. Let's do it! No more in fear shall I wander. I shall stride confidently in faith.

P.S. I'm going to Nashville!

Well, I didn't want to tell people, because I wasn't sure if I would be accepted, but I have good news again. I applied/auditioned for the Fine Arts Summer Academy in Nashville, TN, and was accepted. In July I will be traveling to Tennessee and participating in the Christian summer camp for two weeks, provided I can fund my way there. Even though $2,000 doesn't sound like much, it is to me. I should have enough by the time tuition is due. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to do this and nervous too. I just hope I can exceed their expectations, as well as my own. I don't know exactly what God is planning to do with the gifts He's given me...it's so odd because I don't even consider myself a good singer.
A cute mom from church came up to me while I was at work and told me that, though she couldn't tell who I was because her eyes had steadily become worse, she had heard me singing at Mass and she asked her husband who I was. She said that my voice touched her so deeply that it moved her to tears. She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to go on American Idol :) I'm not mentioning this so that I can get responses or sit high on my horse, it just doesn't seem to match with my perception of what my voice is like. Perhaps God desires to heal that misconception of, not only my voice, but how I see myself. 

So...

God...

Take my voice.

Take my heart.

I surrender.

Keep Holy the Sabbath Day

I don't know about you, but I have always thought that I keep the Sabbath pretty well. I always considered going to work on Sunday to be something to avoid, while yard work was easy to get out of on a Sunday because I could always pull the "But Mom, it's a day of rest" card.  Now I'm not so sure if have "kept the Sabbath" all that well. 
For the Jews, the Sabbath was Friday evening until Saturday evening. After Jesus rose from the dead, the early Christians began to worship on the eighth day: Sunday. Some will argue that the New Covenant replaces the Old Covenant, so the Sabbath is  described in the Old Testament, but Jesus explicitly states that He didn't come to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it. Christians consider Sunday to be the Sabbath of the New Covenant. So why am I thinking about all of this?
I asked God to show me something this morning that I needed to improve in myself and I immediately felt like I needed to read a part of Deuteronomy. What I found this morning really struck me. I had read this many times before, but it struck a chord in me. Read this slowly once or twice.
Take care to keep holy the sabbath day as the LORD, your God, commanded you. Six days you may labor and do all your work; but the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD, your God. No work may be done then, whether by you, or your son or daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or ass or any of your beast, or the alien who lives with you. Your male and female slave should rest as you do. For remember that you too were once slaves in Egypt, and the LORD, your God, brought you from there with his strong hand and outstretched arm. That is why the LORD, your God, has commanded you to observe the sabbath day.
Deuteronomy 5:12-15

God commanded His people to reserve a day to rest. These Jews were once slaves and were driven people. We all know people like this-- those who are so focused on what they are doing, they have no interest in the blessings and joy around them.While the Jews were free in a physical sense, perhaps their work ethic enslaved them, distracting them from the purpose of why they were in the desert. When God puts us in the desert, it is so that He can teach us something. He allures us into the desert so that we can hear His whispers in the silence of the wilderness. 
The reason why I was so struck by this verse was because we live in a society that is more enslaved than ever. We are addicted to work, addicted to fun, addicted to ourselves. On Sunday, let us remember to rest and think about what we are enslaved to. When you pray, what distracts you? Often times, what distracts you in prayer is a good indication of what consumes your life too much. Sunday should be the time we get our spiritual lives in order by connecting even more with God. 

His Spirit Within Me

 

I am unfolding gently beneath
your loving touch
Becoming
I let wholeness breath my
petals free
Awareness
Sweet fragrant Spirit touching
senses into life
Wisdom
Giving beauty back to the universe
Knowing
Each petal, sweet miracle of life
Oneness
We are hues of color, yet one
in Spirits blossom.

Poem by Ellie LeJeune 

New Pope!

Cardinal Jose Mario Bergoglio of Argentina is now Pope Francis I.

 

Hey ya'll. We have a new pope!  I will update later on him!!!!! :D

My Letter to CBC

Every year my school has what is called Safe Sex Awareness day. This was my first year hearing about it and after much thought, I decided to write to them. I ended up sending it to about 12 different authorities on campus. I expected no reply, and that is exactly what I got. Not a single person responded or even acknowledged that I sent the letter to them. I had a few people tweak it and give their opinion on it before I sent it. I'm not posting this because I consider it to be extremely well written, but rather because I want to encourage ya'll to stand up for the faith in this world and to not be afraid to give your opinion in a peaceful way, even if it isn't a popular idea.

Dear Columbia Basin College,
I was quite surprised when I received the information that the college would be providing condoms and lollipops in the Hub this Thursday. I seriously do not think that CBC is being wise by endorsing a device that is used during sexual intercourse for several reasons.
First of all, I realize that not everyone is going to have the same principle of saving sex until it is in the safest form—in marriage. As someone who has acknowledged sex as an extremely bonding and personal experience that is meant for one man and one woman, I also have other reasons for my belief. I do realize that CBC is concerned with the health of its students and that unplanned pregnancies or illnesses can be detrimental to a person’s education, but I do not think that condoms are the most effective way of dealing with these problems. There are emotional factors that go into having sex with people too.
When a person abstains from sex, relationships can be built on things other than physical intimacy. Things like intellect and character traits are taken into account. Unfortunately, many people don’t even have a personal relationship with someone and end up having what is commonly known as a "one night stand". Condoms are made to protect from pregnancies, STDs, etc., but do students know that they don’t protect against many viruses? By providing condoms, I feel that you are disregarding the well-being for both women and men. Abstinence is 100% effective and won’t break, fall off, or be physically uncomfortable.
Also, I find it repulsive that both lollipops and condoms will be offered together. I was speaking with some of my friends and they felt that this pairing was disgusting. One of my friends said that she thought it was encouraging oral sex. Whether or not this was purposeful, I think that by giving out lollipops and condoms in tandem, ASCBC is poking fun at a very intimate and personal part of life. Lollipops are a childish candy and sex is not for children, so what was ASCBC’s intention in doing this? I felt that this combination is treating sex casually and encouraging others to treat it similarly. Sex is not meant to be casual. It is so much more than just an act.
If CBC wants to effectively bring STD or pregnancy rates down, there should be other measures taken. Natural Family Planning is an alternative way that women can plan pregnancies. It looks at a woman’s cycle and works collaboratively with her partner. I’ve talked to numerous couples who have used this system and the overwhelming consensus was that, not only was it completely free of devices and pills, but also increased overall respect for each other. As I said before, abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancies and STDs. Why would CBC offer me condoms, which don’t always work, instead of offering me classes on how to use NFP with my partner and my body, which is not only effective, but physically and emotionally healthy as well?
Whether or not CBC takes any of this into account, I thought it was repulsive, unnecessary, and disgusting for CBC to allow condoms to be handed out. Many of my friends, who are students at CBC, are of the same opinion. It makes me hesitant and obstinate in wanting to allow my younger siblings to attend CBC.
Thank you for your time.
Elizabeth Andersen

Last day!!!

Hey everybody! 
I know I was horrible about posting stuff about the Bare Face Challenge, but I just wanted to say that today is our last day of the challenge! One more day of going bare face...Congratulations to all the girls who stuck to it! I'm not sure what I'm going to do after this, but I definitely got completely comfortable with my face towards the end. More to come when I get more time :)