Congratulations to the newly engaged couple

Philip Vander Veen & Stephanie Andersen

After careful planning, Philip asked Stephanie while surrounded by candles, music, roses, and cheesecake. This is the first engagement in the Andersen family, and everyone is excited and looking forward to seeing Philip and Steph continue in this beautiful relationship together. 

We Love Because He First Loved Us

The Hard Path

"We're called to be faithful, to take those first difficult steps--and to leave the results up to God."

―Alex Harris, coauthor of Do Hard Things

This quote is full of challenge for me. First, to be faithful isn't enough. We can't just sit on our rears and say "Oh yes Lord! I have faith in you!" Nope, that doesn't cut it. It is necessary to have faith and take those first painful steps. What those steps produce, we must leave up to God,which is a task in itself because it requires us to trust in Him and to abandon our plans to Him. Can I really say that I am following Him when I won't take a step in the direction He beckons me towards? If I am locked into my own ideas, I am drowning out His instructions with my own voice. 

The past few days I really have been pondering those first difficult steps in a situation I am in and what my reaction will be if God doesn't have it turn out the way I am hoping. I just want to do what I want to do, but that isn't the life God has called me to. He has called me to stand up now and receive the reward later. I took some of those hard steps today and with each foot I placed in front of the other, I felt as though I was severing a part of my heart away. Afterwards, I felt much better knowing that I had taken the steps, but the most daunting task still lies ahead―allowing God to take the piece of scrap paper I've written for my future and replace it with the blueprints He has thought up. Now this isn't to say that some of the things I've written on my scrap paper aren't what He has planned, but rather that He has been planning for so much longer and with more detail. He actually knows what is going on (which is encouraging since I feel like a chicken with my head cut off)!

He knows who my spouse will be, what my report card will look like, where I will travel, how my Reach experience will be, and if I will continue my education. He is enthusiastically trying to give me this blueprint, but I've been afraid to accept it. But not anymore. As I weigh the two in my hands, it is so clear to me. My scrap of paper is trivial, and my plans have been drowning me with indecision and fear. His plan is clear, confident, exciting and...it just feels right. Need I tell you whose plan I've decided to follow? I am ready to accept the difficult path set before me because I know that His plan was made in Perfect Love, and there is nothing more powerful, inspiring, or satisfying than Perfect Love. 

Torn

I feel torn. Who is God really? I think I have separated Jesus into two different people or personalities, expecting Him at any moment to completely reject and shun me, while at other times I experience His ever intoxicating and passionate love. Perhaps the hurt I've been carrying has been projected on Him. The idea of Him never hurting me seems impossible. I suspect Him to brutally wound my heart like others have. How can I have such a warped view of Him when I have experienced Him so intimately? I'm talking about the God who rescued me like a knight on a white horse and lifted me from the dirt I had been thrown into. He is not the guy who told me I was fat or the guy who betrayed me or the girl who gossiped about me or the girl who said she was glad I was gone. He is the God who formed my being, who is trustworthy and loyal, who speaks gently to me, and who longs for me every second of every day. For some reason, I cannot convince myself that this is true. Lord, straighten my twisted concept of you. Purify my polluted idea of who you are. I put the lies I've believed about you in your hands. Instill in my core being who you really are. I want to know!

Where is the Passion of the Church?

I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." 
But the one who peers into the perfect law and perseveres, and is not a hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, such a one shall be blessed in what he does.
In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm; For stern as death is love, relentless as the nether world is devotion; its flames are a blazing fire. Deep waters cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away.

Revelation 3:15-16, James 1:25, 1 Peter 1:6-7, and Song of Songs 8:6-7a

I was writing this blog, feeling a bit angry about how we have lost the sense of God's fiery and passionate love for us, when the Lord gave me a word in my heart. I was writing the title (Where is the Passion of the Church?) and He gently stopped me by saying "You are the Church."

It stunned me for a moment. I, Elizabeth, am the Church. I make up the body of Christ. If one part of the body is not functioning, I can't just bash on the problem! I am part of the problem!  My community needs me. By persevering in my prayers and devotion to God and drawing closer to Him, I am inching the Church closer too. I do have an effect on the community and stepping out and bringing His Light wherever I go is an encouragement to others who don't have the courage to do that yet. Let us create an atmosphere around us that is beaming with the love of Christ. When we allow Him to root out the ugliness in our own hearts, part of the Church is being weeded. Thus, bringing the Church into a place of fiery and passionate love really isn't all that hard. It starts one heart at a time. Lord, let my heart be the first.

All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today. 

Pope Paul VI 

 

Self Sacrifice

As we sat on the couch nibbling on flavorful pumpkin cookies and chatting about everything from college classes to God to big messups, something profound and alarming hit me. It wasn't what we were talking about nor was it a wonderfully new subject that came to mind. But rather, it was a simple action, proving to be mind blowing.

My wonderful aunt came over to attend some meetings in our area, and my mom and her decided to have a  sleepover. Aunty brought some cookies and we immediately settled in the living room to fill each other in. Right before I was about to go to bed, my aunt moved closer to the foot my mom had propped on the couch. She gently removed my mom's sock and began to massage her foot. I was struck by her act of kindness. Would I have ever done that out of the love in my heart? No. In fact, the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind. My aunt cares so much about my mom that she is constantly thinking of ways to love her. And I'm not.

In fact, whenever I am in a relationship, be it one of a family or friend nature, I am always thinking about what I can get out of it. How can this person make me feel better? What can they do for me? Unfortunately I have a very recent and moronic story of how very selfish, rude, and self-centered I am.

This afternoon my little sister wanted to borrow something for a project she was doing with a friend. She had gone into my backpack and when she couldn't find the object there, came upstairs to ask where it was. I simply blew up at her. I yelled at her full-throttle (in front of her friend, mind you) about going into my backpack without asking and about her nagging me. After letting of some steam for an elongated two minutes, I ended my entire fiasco by stomping down the stairs, projecting in a loud voice that I was going to hibernate for a couple of weeks. 

I wasn't reasonable or generous. I was rude and stupid, in the plainest and simplest way.What is even worse about this whole situation, is that I knew what I was doing when I was freaking out. I was conscious of the fact that I was overreacting and I knew that I was hurting my sister's feelings without cause. And that is real stupidity.

I am really struggling with the fact that I show no love to those people, suffering or not, around me. I have been surrounded by saints who care about me, and all I've done is take from them! If I have wisdom, or inspire people, or get good grades, or pray over the sick...this means nothing. I am the creaking gate and the resounding gong and the crashing cymbal spoken about in 1 Corinthians 13. But I know God will make something good from these painful realizations.

If you remember, please pray for me. God is revealing some things to me that aren't tasty to swallow. Making the decision to love every day isn't going to be easy and becoming sensitive to other people's needs is going to take a lot of work. Sigh*

Whirlwind of Thoughts...

“Love is always ready to deny itself, to give, sacrifice, just in the measure of its sincerity and intensity. Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness. Hence where there is love in a home, unselfishness is the law. Each forgets self and lives for others. 
But where there is selfishness it mars joy. One selfish soul will destroy the sweetness of life in any home. It is like an ugly bush in the midst of a garden of flowers. It was selfishness that destroyed the first home and blighted all the loveliness of Paradise; and it has been blighting lovely things in earth's home ever since. We need to guard against this spirit.”
―J.R. Miller

Why does God decide to shed His light on our hearts, and by doing so expose the blackness of sin that consumes us? There are some days when God reveals things about myself I really just never wanted to know. Things about the real me. 

Not the person I am when everything is going right or when I'm around my friends, but rather how I act when things don't go my way. My younger sister once said that you can tell what people are really like by how they act when they are frustrated or angry, who the real Christians are. It is easy to be kind when everything feels right and there is a mutual gladness all around. But when things get out of my comfort zone and I begin to feel threatened, or when someone says something that really hurts, the way I respond is a reflection of my heart. And usually my reaction is anything but Christian. 

When I begin to feel this way, my words become poison. If my actions are vile, my heart is vile. Let's think about the very beginning of time. Out of God's mouth come words of life, words of creation. He spoke in love and created us. My mouth was created to pour words and even songs of life and love. So why am I so adamant to kill others with my words? How can I change so that I am building people up? The Bible often talks about the importance of training our tongues (see James for a bunch of tongue verses). But controlling my tongue isn't going to accomplish much if my heart remains unchanged. Instead, I need a heart of love and devotion to the Lord.

 "For, while physical training is of limited value, 

devotion is valuable in every respect, 

since it holds a promise of life both for

 the present and for the future."

1 Timothy 4:8

If my heart has sin in it, I cannot be giving the fullness of God's love to others because I have not received it. Really, that is what it is all about. Love. Not love that demands something in return or hides from hurt. Rather, it is love that reaches out and touches the hurting one. Love that sacrifices its own wants and desires. It is difficult to love someone because it strips us of our defenses. The deeper you delve into love, the more it probes your heart. Love immerses you into a relationship that thirsts for vulnerability and trust. If left thirsting for too long, it will die. Love is not a feeling of independence. It is a collaboration of two souls, teamwork, and dedication. After tasting pure love, how can one go back? We can't. Once we experience the great love of God, we are never the same. His love should blow us away. His love should stir in us to a path in which we love in the same way He has loved us. Let us then love with all of our being, passionately and with holiness.

The Wisdom of Pedro Arrupe

“Nothing is more practical than

 finding God, that is, than 

falling in love 

in a quite absolute, final way. 

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination
will affect everything. 

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, 

what you will do with your evenings, 

how you spend your weekends, 

what you read, who you know,

what breaks your heart, 

and what amazes you with

 joy and gratitude.

 Fall in love, stay in love, 

and it will decide everything."

 

 

The Moral of the Story...

In the Hands of the Healer

Have you ever felt known by someone? Really known? Not a bad kind of know, but a refreshing kind? The type of know that brings up the feeling that you are cared for and loved? While there are a few people that we feel truly know us well, there is one person who knows us best. His name is God.

And God knows us. He really does! He formed us, molded us, loved us into being. We are the product of His very great love. It says in the Bible that He knit us in our mother's womb. He intricately knit us. I don't know about you, but knitting is hard for me.

It takes focus and I always want to get every stitch perfect so that the entire piece will be beautiful. He knits us in the same way, but His creations don't end up being thrown across the room in frustration like mine do. Instead, He ends up breathing the Breathe of Life into His new creation's lungs. In Jeremiah, it says that before God formed us, He knew us.

He planned us in His mind. He planned and thought about how He would form us. He knew exactly how my nose would have a little bump on the bridge. He took days to figure out how my eyes would look. He decided to make them appear as though they were brown, but if you got closer then you would see the bit of green on the outside edges. He also wanted to make them big. Large enough to take in His magnificence and wide enough to display the innocence He instilled in all His creations. He molded my cheekbones, my forehead, my shoulders, my toes. He planned my smile and grinned as He did it. 

But there was one thing He took extra care to form. My heart.When He formed my heart, He paused constantly. It was this part of me that would determine everything. My most severe hurts, greatest joys, deepest compassions, and wildest panics would be felt here. But most of all, there was a place in the heart for a passionate love. A spot that only an unquenchable love could fill. To anyone else, it looked like a void, a blemish, a hole. But He knew. He had the missing piece, and He longed for the day that He could make it whole again. He anticipated and hoped with all His might that the heart He was forming would one day choose to follow the paths that were created for it, so that He could fulfill its purpose.  So that He could fulfill your purpose. 

Each person is different. Everyone decides on a different way to live, whether they choose God or not. But I know that He knows me. And I try to know Him as best I can.  And every day the hole that was once empty is filled in a new and beautiful way. A more complete way. All I can do is offer you the same peace and love that I've accepted. The gift of Jesus. The one who formed your heart, knows how to heal it. All you have to do it hand it to Him.

Ahem...Ladies and Gents, I present to you...

 A tribute. To a very special person. To someone who has impacted many lives and made many laugh.

 His name is Brandon. 

Brandon, my brother. 

Eldest of the clan. 

The guy who always came up with the craziest ideas, the one who inspired creativity in all of us. He prompted us to think big, and to try things out.

 His movies, his songs, his jokes. 

They were always the best.

Now he is all grown up, and he had to press forward on his own journey, away from the family. Everyone has to when they reach adulthood. Which is fine.

But we will always remember those childhood days, laughing and playing and joking together. Being good buds and having those inside jokes. Together. 

I'm glad Brandon was born. So that's why I decided to give him a little tribute. Happy Birthday Brandon. I love ya, I miss ya. I'm glad you were born. Even though we are both all grown up, I still like you :) And love you. A lot. Have a loverly birthday! 

One last word. 

Why Johnny, why?

Wow. My first blog post. I must say, I had a difficult time choosing a name for this blog. But I have fallen in love with the name I did end up deciding on. As my friends often hear me say, I try to do everything with my whole heart, and this blog shouldn't be any different! So why did I pick this name? Here are my reasons: I knew that I wanted a name that reminded me of Him leading me and wooing me closer and deeper into His heart. I knew that I wanted a name that reminded me of one of my favorite verses: 

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

and bring her into the wilderness,

and speak tenderly to her.

And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

Hosea 2:14, 16

What a beautiful picture that springs to mind! He, the God of the Universe, will allure me! will speak tenderly to me! But, I must add, that He is bringing us into the wilderness, which is not a pretty idea. The wilderness is hard, dry, and thorny. It is where we are formed and shaped into holier and overall better people. But being formed hurts. Fortunately, He gives us another promise that can be found in that steamy book of the Bible Song of Songs: 

"Who is this coming up from the desert, leaning on her lover?"

Song of Songs 8:5

This verse holds as a promise in my life. He will not only lead me out of the desert, but He will bring me out of the desert. Jesus will use His strength to carry me out. He will let me lean on Him. The same is true for you. No burden is too heavy. We all struggle, and His hand is reaching out to save and to form and to embrace. He LOVES US!!!!!! That is so very exciting! Thank you Jesus for your love. 

His Beloved,

Elizabeth

P.S. 

How's that for a first post?! :)